lindseybluth:

i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”

heckacute:

I like to make people feel bad for me by telling them that I spent my last three birthdays in the hospital. I wasn’t sick or anything, but I don’t tell them that. I’m just a surgeon who likes making people feel bad for me. 

pemwin:

ladybowtheboo:

asobita-i:

Reblog for the last one

it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate

So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created

loudmouthed:

WHY would you want weed socks where you gonna wear those?? to church???? to school? to work? no you’ll wear them at home by yourself and take pics of them for the internet bc there’s little marijuanas on them

hornyspice:

My yearbook quote.

hornyspice:

My yearbook quote.

iwillnotcarryon:

I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried

iwillnotcarryon:

I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried

ruinedchildhood:

literally me